High

So I read at a poetry slam last night. I've never read my own original work in front of an audience before, so needless to say, I was extremely nervous before the slam got started. There were eight competitors and we drew to determine the order in which we'd read. I drew eight, which was kind of nice--I was still nerve-wracked though.

After the first seven contestants, it was finally my turn to read. I got up to the stand, adjusted the microphone and began to read. My legs were shaking, but luckily my voice was steady. And then I lost myself in the meaning behind my words...just focused on the feelings that I'd felt when I'd first wrote the piece. And suddenly, the twenty or so people who were listening to me read didn't matter anymore. I was getting the chance to portray the exact way I'd felt...it was my perception that I got to share, my own interpretation. I finished and I heard applause and as I walked back to my seat...actually more like I floated. I felt the urge to just laugh for no reason at all. It was such a high!

I made it through the first elimination and got to read again. This time was easier. And then I made it through the second elimination and got to read in the last round. By that time I was more comfortable than I thought I'd ever be in front of a crowd.

And then they announced the winners. I took second. :) Way, way more than I had expected walking into this thing. All I'd hoped for was to be able to make it through my first piece without stuttering. Like I said...total high! Can't wait to do it again.

revelation

I forgot how much I totally love writing. Sad, I know. But seriously, I haven't done any serious writing in years because I've "been too busy," "don't have time," "don't have any fresh ideas," blah blah blah. And now, I've been bombarded with this need to write, to put into words the creative ideas inside my head. And it feels so absolutely wonderful to be doing what I'm doing. There's just an utter release and sense of relaxation in putting words down on paper. A sense of urgency in getting thoughts settled before they run away and total elation as the thoughts form a complete whole. I am so incredibly happy at this exact moment in time. I feel as though I have done something worthwhile (I just finished a short story) and it's a great feeling. And now to bed...I have stayed up way too late typing out the expressions in my head. But what is one supposed to do when creative juices are flowing? Snap the lid and hope they don't go flat? I think not.

Charlatan

Turn to a page, it’s all laid out
so grab a pen and write it down.
It’s on the desk so take a peek
and let the others know what you see.
Your hair is blonde, your eyes are blue.
So are his—pull a switch-a-roo.
Shuffle the deck and slide your chips,
hope the queen won’t give you the slip.
Place your bet, you’ll win your game—
the thoroughbred just came up lame.
Check your figures, you’re on the mend.
An extra zero puts you up by ten.
Strike a match and watch it burn,
you’re insured, procure an urn.
Turn off the phone, no time for tact.
Get the other flat on her back.
You’re one step up, one stride ahead.
The deed’s been done, the word’s been said.
Yet when night comes and the day is through,
live with the shame that hangs over you.

statement of faith

Today was All Saints Day at church and it was amazing! I love this Sunday every year, because one, it's a reminder of the gift of eternal life that is waiting at the end of this life for those who believe, two, it gives encouragement to those who are having difficult times and three, we get to sing some kick-ass hymns during the church service!! This is more of a personal post, written for my own enjoyment and peace of mind--it is not meant to be a sermon or anything like that. But for any who are interested, the following are the lyrics of my favorite hymn "For All the Saints" and then the words of the Nicene Creed, which basically spells out the basis of my faith.

For all the saints, who from their labors rest,
who thee by faith before the world confessed,
thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

Thou wast their rock, their fortress, and their might;
thou Lord, their captain in the well-fought fight;
thou in the darkness drear, their one true light.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

O may thy soldiers, faithful, true, and bold,
fight as the saints who nobly fought of old,
and win with them the victor's crown of gold.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

O blest communion, fellowship divine!
We feebly struggle, they in glory shine;
yet all are one in thee, for all are thine.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long,
steals on the ear the distant triumph song,
and hearts are brave again, and arms are strong.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

From earth's wide bounds, from ocean's farthest coast,
through gates of pearl streams in the countless host,
singing to Father, Son, and Holy Ghost:
Alleluia, Alleluia!

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty,
Maker of Heaven and Earth
and of all things visible and invisible.

And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God
begotten of his Father before all worlds,
God of God,
Light of Light,
very God of very God,
begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father
by whom all things were made.
Who for us men, and for our salvation, came down from Heaven
and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary
and was made man
and was crucified also for us under Pontious Pilate.
He suffered and was buried
and on the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures.
He ascended into Heaven
and He shall come again with glory, to judge both the living and the dead
whose kingdom shall have no end.

And I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord and Giver of life
who proceeded from the Father and the Son,
who with the Father and the Son together is worshiped and glorified.
Who spoke by the prophets.
And I believe in one holy christian and apostolic church.
I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins
and I look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.
Amen.